Your Business

Govt defends mining tax as essential to funding expensive-as-shit pro mining tax ads

30 May 2010 | Joe Stella

Read more background from The Australian.

The $38 million will explain that without the Resource Super Profits Tax, essential services would be at risk, such as ads about mining taxes.

Treasurer Wayne Swan has warned that, unless the government runs a taxpayer-funded campaign on it, up to 22 million Australians are at risk of not knowing what Labor thinks about the tax—unless they’re one of the lucky few with access to television, radio, newspapers or the internet.

The need to sideline the Independent Communications Committee to air the campaign means that Labor will have to scrap its original campaign tagline, “return on investment above the government bond rate: it breaks all the rules.”

Mr Swan says that the ads are an emergency measure to counter “misinformation”.  Viewers of the new ads will learn the following little-known facts about the new tax:

• Mining company profits can only be accessed by drilling through a thick layer of wallet
• Despite his nice-guy persona, BHP Billiton CEO Marius Kloppers is actually South African, so bear that in mind next time he opens his fat Boer mouth
• The mining giants will only use their super profits to buy another enormous yellow truck or some shit
• We lost too many good men at the Eureka Stockade to let miners get out of paying extortionate taxes
• Frankly, Western Australia have never been team players and now they can go fuck themselves
• Sure they’ve saved us from the global recession these last two years, but what have mining companies done for us lately?