The MV Tricolor, its hull ruptured in a collision with a container ship, is tonight leaching dozens of prestige automobiles per hour into the Dover Strait.
French and British officials are bracing themselves for what is expected to be an environmental catastrophe as the luxury cars begin to wash ashore.
Already, thousands of seabirds are thought to have perished, unable to fly after being coated in hub-caps, leather interiors and anti-lock brakes.
A vast slick of independent rear-wheel suspension, about 50 kilometres wide, is currently drifting towards Spain.
The tragic loss of thousands of beautiful automobiles at sea, and the resultant ecological nightmare, have galvanised many against the international trade in well-built cars. Australia and Malaysia are spearheading further moves to increase tariffs and further subsidise their shoddy, locally-built models.