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The image of Australian-born actor Nicole Kidman playing the didgeridoo on German television has outraged Aboriginal groups, who say that the ancient instrument makes women infertile.
According to experts, wooden tubes have m-a-a-a-a-a-a-gical, sp-o-o-o-o-o-ky powers to interfere with the human reproductive system.
As Kidman played the instrument on the set of Wetten, Dass..?, magical didgeridoo forces reached back in time to make her marriage to US actor Tom Cruise utterly childless.
For a woman to play the didgeridoo is highly offensive to Aborigines, but critics question whether it’s anywhere near offensive enough to crack the lucrative US market. The Australian Government will pump $100 million into Ms Kidman’s didgeridoo career anyway.
And that’s not the only side-effect. Women who have played the didgeridoo report a high-pitched sanctimonious whine in their ear for weeks afterward.
Aboriginal leaders have also warned that improper use of the boomerang can cause severe testicle pain.
Ms Kidman has described playing the didgeridoo as the highlight of her acting career, telling The Daily Grind that “I always look forward to playing something wooden and lifeless with no expression.“
Ms Kidman has described playing the didgeridoo as the highlight of her acting career, telling The Daily Grind that "I always look forward to playing something wooden and lifeless with no expression."
