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A Melbourne train driver has been stood down while Connex and police investigate allegations that he bashed a passenger at Flinders Street station.
The incident comes as Connex submits its bid to continue running Melbourne’s commuter rail network. A rival operator, Hong Kong-based MTR Corporation, claims that it could improve reliability while delivering more vicious passenger beatings.
MTR runs a successful metro rail network in Hong Kong based on kung fu principles.
Kung fu originated thousands of years ago when Huang-di, the Yellow Emperor, was on an MTR service to Zhuolu when he was forced to beat the shit out of the evil Emperor Chi You.
Other bidders for the Melbourne contract include France’s Keolis, which proposes a parkour-based passenger bashing system.
Hong Kong residents prepare for another vicious beating at the hands of MTR goons.
