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Paul Keating has joined Liberal frontbenchers in condemning Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s hastily-released plan for an EU-style grouping of Asian, Pacific and subcontinental nations.
But Mr Rudd is pressing on with the plan regardless, arguing that Asian countries have been eagerly awaiting the opportunity to follow Australia since at least 1901.
For Australia, the plan offers great opportunities to attend pointless meetings with bureaucrats from Laos.
Although China will likely resist incorporation into a sovereignty-sharing free-market pro-democracy club, it will be more amenable after Mr Rudd asks them in Chinese. China will be so fucking impressed when they find out he speaks Chinese.
The outspoken Mr Keating has refrained from criticising the current government until, but felt compelled to act after someone threatened to beat his foreign policy legacy: the world-record for sucking the Indonesian president’s cock.
In any case, the Asian Union is likely to be sunk as soon as French voters get a chance to reject it.
Population: 4 billion
GDP: $4 billion
Flag: not sure, probably have some red on it
Capital: Singapore, but if Malaysia asks, it’s Tokyo
Common currency: 1 asio = 100 cents, less for cash
Anthem: “Turning Japanese” by the Vapors (to be confirmed)
Free trade: everything except goods and services
Not invited: Turkey
At this temple, generations of Chinese leaders prayed for the chance to do what Australia says.
