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NSW Opposition leader John Brogden has announced that if elected he will release yearly statistical compilations, covering hospital waiting lists, school class sizes, crimes reported and train timetables.
“The Carr government has sought to hide these vital numbers in boring Departmental reports,” Mr Brogden told The Daily Grind, “I promise to announce them out of context in an unpaid political ad.”
Analysts have applauded Mr Brogden’s announcement, noting his growing maturity as a politician. “Previously he made controversial promises such as mandatory sentencing, police on playlunch duty in schools and abolishing the urban affairs and planning portfolio,” one commentator observed, “whereas now he’s sticking to announcing things that already happen and promising to make the trains run on time.”
Mr Brogden’s next campaign speech is rumoured to include plans for a daring new Paramatta to Chatswood railway and an exciting “Millennium Train” concept.
But can the people of NSW take in reams of statistical information? Mr Brogden assured The Daily Grind that the figures would be simplified to “regular”, “large”, “king” and “jumbo”.
Another novel component is listing “sentencing policy outcomes”—more people in gaol—as a criteria of success. Outcry from minority agitators, such as citizens who don’t want to be gaoled, was dismissed by senior Liberal sources.
Though concerns have been voiced that the Liberals are too far to the right, sources assure The Daily Grind that the Liberals’ policies have a lot in common with the Green Party manifesto. Specifically, there is no danger either will get the chance to implement them.
